My kitty Cleo died on July 16th and I wrote most of this post the day after. It's my tribute to her. She was an amazing cat.
When my father married my step-mom, I gave away my cat. My s-mom was very allergic to cats and my cat was very much a cat. I promised myself that the instant I moved out of my parent's house I would have a cat again. And I did...about a week after moving into my first apartment at 17, I took Aurora home. She was a sandy colored mutt of a cat. She was sporadic, not very tame and did not trust people. She eventually warmed to me but even years later she would hide for days at a time. I eventually adopted two more kittens, Cleopatra and Persephone. I found Cleo and Persephone in the News and Observer's classifieds. They were an "oops" litter to a family in Clayton.
I remember the day I met the kittens. I arrived to their house, greeted by a big lovable Rottweiler and showed to the kitten's box. Persephone was a big poof of white fluff. She had light blue eyes and was absolutely adorable. I had to have that one. Then they brought me this tiny orange slightly less fluffy kitten. They said they were thinking of keeping her because she was the most outgoing of all the kittens. She was strikingly adorable. I claimed the white poof and the orange poof (if they decided to adopt her out).
A week later when the kittens were old enough to be separated from their mom, they let me have her. She had one black eyelid and one pink eye lid. She had stripes from her face that reminded me of Egyptian paintings. I decided about 5 minutes down the road that she had to be called Cleopatra.
The 3 were a great trio.
I kept all the cats as indoor cats because I didn't want to lose them to cars like I'd lost so many cats as a child.
Aurora escaped when someone left the door open and I can only hope she is alive and happy.
Persephone now lives with my old roommate's parents.
And Cleo died too early.
On Sunday, July 15th, I returned home after catching Magic Mike with a couple friends, to find her laying on the floor, panting. Panting is generally not a good sign in cats. When I lifted her head, she was listless. I broke several speed limits and passing laws on the way to the emergency vet. They injected her with a heart drug and a steroid and started pumping her full of oxygen. The emergency vet told me that once a cat goes into heart failure, they usually don't come out. I was floored, how could Cleo have heart disease let alone heart failure!
Instant blubbering mess.
I call Steven...between incoherent sobbing he says he's on his way.
I was sure this was the end. I was sure I wouldn't have a cat by the end of the day.... But then a glimmer of hope. She bounced back dramatically. The emergency vet brought her in to see me. She was walking, she was alert, she was breathing normally. She was a motor of purring.
That was the last time I heard her purr.
They thought it could have been asthma, they thought it could have been anaphylactic shock, but then they heard her heart murmur. Regardless of how she rebounded, she had heart disease. I left her there to be observed for 8 hours. When I called to check on her at 6 hours, she had had 2 more episodes, so I left her there for the night.
The next morning I picked up a sluggish, swollen looking kitty, and a greasy, British sounding emergency vet told me how bad a murmur is for a cat. That it does not bode well. That something is seriously wrong with Cleo. Oh and that they also did several more tests that would costs a couple hundred more. Thanks. Salt, meet open wound.
We brought her straight to our vet who did her own exam and sent us off to NC State Cardiology for a chest ultrasound. It's about 10 am now and this is the 3rd vet Cleo and I have been to so far. The cardiologist told me more of the same. Heart murmur rated at a 3 out of 6. She's the right age for heart disease. No idea why she bounced back or why her liver values are up. I leave her to them for an ultrasound and hopefully an answer on how to keep her alive. About when she was due to be picked up, they called me and told me the results. They confirmed that she had severe heart disease. Her left ventricle was very enlarged. She was likely in heart failure on Sunday. However, because she is presenting so oddly, they ask if they can do another XRay and blood test for a teaching opportunity.
About 2 hours later I can finally pick her up. Her Xray showed the fluid in her lungs from Sunday had cleared. That's good! The cardiologist said with medication, she could last another 6 months to 3 years. They pile me with pills and directions on how to give them, strip me of more money and send me home to try and get her to eat and drink. It's 5:30pm. She spent over 24 hours with vets, and it still didn't save her...
She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't drink. I gave her the anti-nausea drugs, nothing. I checked on her periodically and she didn't so much as move around the bed. At about 10pm, she started breathing heavier. So I force fed her some water and gave her the two heart drugs we'd been given. She was really irritated with me and hid under the bed...cat's hide before they die.
At about 11:20pm give or take, I went up stairs to check on her one last time before bed. She was under the bed, breathing heavily, staring, unblinking. I'll spare you the details, but she passed about 10 mins later. That was the hardest thing I've ever watched. My heart broke several times as I watched her struggle for what felt like an eternity.
We were inconsolable. I was glad that she left on her own accord. I wish I could have made it more comfortable for her but I'm glad it was at home on one of her favorite resting spots instead of a metal cage. I'm glad I was there for her passing even though it hurt to watch. I'm sorry she spent the last day of her life being poked and prodded but I had to try and save her. I so much wanted to hear her purr again.
I don't pray much anymore. But I prayed to spare her and when she wasn't, I prayed my thanks for letting her be with me.
Because of how unique her disease was, we're allowing NC State to do a necropsy on her so they can learn what went wrong. I'm glad she's contributing to the advancement of veterinary care. Afterwards she'll be cremated and returned to us.
This morning when we moved her into a container to bring to the vet, the place where she died, the place where she laid in our house for the last time...it was still warm.
"The flame that burns twice as bright, burns half as long"
Liz DiNatale 7/17/2012
Today Steven, Kate, Will and I laid her ashes to rest in the dirt of a newly planted Saucer Magnolia. It will bloom around the time of year that she was born and give us a short reminder of how beautiful she was.
I searched high and low for a Saucer Magnolia and only found one yesterday at the farmer market. It's the only tree that I felt would do her justice.
I miss her presence in the house. It feels like something is missing. At least I had her for 8 purr filled years. And at least she's not struggling or in pain anymore.
Liz DiNatale
Cleo: May 2004 - July 2012
